Throwback !!

#It's all about food !!

Promise

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

Actually aku da janji dgn 'gf' aku yg aku nak post psl holiday ktorg sabtu aritu..
Almalangnya...tiada kesempatan lah awekku..
Mintak amponn..hoho
Nk update mlm ni plak mcm kekeringan idea..
So, I will update and throwback bout us later kay?
I promise.. Hehehe ;)

#i'm straight

Life is easy

Datang dan pergi dalam hidup seorang manusia itu biasa.. ;)

#semoga tabah

Lost..

Assalamualaikum..

Hmm... I dunno why..
What happened to my life in this 2013..
Terlalu byk dugaan..
Sumpah aku terasa penat..
Kenapa mesti aku yg dapat semua ni?
Kenapa mesti aku yg merasai semua ni?
Kenapa mesti aku ?

Ya Allah, aku tau semua ini takdirMu..
Dugaan yg kau berikan adlh utk mengujiku..
Tapi kenapa aku terasa berat utk diriku pikul..
Hingga aku rasa lemah dan tiada daya lg utk diriku melihat masa hdpn..
Terasa kelam...semuanya gelap..
Walaubagaimanapun, aku tetap bersyukur atas ketentuanMu..KurniaanMu..
Kerana aku yakin janjiMu yg xkan kecewakan hambaNya..
Kerana aku hanyalah hambaMu yg kerdil..
Aku hanya mampu berdoa agar semuanya kembali pulih..
Aku inginkan ketenangan...
Aku telah berusaha..aku hanya mampu tawakkal kepadaMu...

Hari ini...
Aku diuji...
It's been a long time that I've kept from my mind..my heart...
We're discussed..
And then..I'm upset..
Hari ni merupakan hari yg plg busy utk aku..coz it is Wednesday..
My ordering day...
And tiba2 ada byk benda yg aku kena settle kan time tu jgk..dgn meeting nya..
Aku serabut...bukan pasal kerja sebenarnya..
It's not a big deal for me actually..
Coz I know I can handle it..
But it is bcoz of something else...
Something else need to be clear and we need to discussed..
aku tetap kuatkan diri aku utk berbincang..
Akhirnya...
Aku taktau...taktau kenapa tiba2 airmata aku jatuh sedang aku fokus utk ordering..
Aku cuba tahan dgn minum air...
Tp sekali lg..jatuh jgk..
Aku malu..aku takut ada org perasan...
Aku terus tunduk and lari ke 'ladies'...
Two times I have been like this..
Kenapa mesti aku ?

Kenapa hati aku lemah sgt ?
Kenapa hati aku mudah sgt ?
Kenapa hati aku tetap memaafkan ?
Tiba2 aku jd benci pd hati aku...
Kalau la boleh aku operate hati ni..buang segalanya atau tukar yg lain...
Kalau la boleh... T__T;

tapi...yg menjadi tanda tanya...
Kenapa mesti aku yg jd barang permainan mereka ?
Adakah aku ni terlalu mudah utk diperbodohkan?
Adakah aku senang dibuli ??
Adakah aku yg bersalah ?
Ya...aku rasa aku lah yg bersalah..
Kerana terlalu mudah memberi peluang..
Hingga akhirnya aku yang di perlekehkan..
Sudah terlambat utk aku katakan "kalaulah aku tau"..
And terlambat jgk utk aku mengeluh..
Semuanya salah diri aku sendiri..
Yang tak faham liku2 permainan sebegitu..

Drpd dulu sampai sekarang..tetap aku juga yg dipermainkan..
It's mean that you are the one who stupid asz..
So, what should I do ?
Mmg da takde manusia langsung ke dlm dunia ni yg ada sifat jujur ?
Ada sifat setia ? memahami ? Ada rasa serba salah ?
Sungguh aku xmengerti...
Dunia makin kejam kurasakan..

Oh...tiba2 aku terasa rindu sgt kat ayah..
Ayah...kalau lah ayah ada kat sini..kat dunia ni..
Mesti ayah dah marah org2 yg buat anak ayah mcm ni..
Buat anak ayah sedih...sakit hati..
Ayah aku seorang yg garang..sgt garang..
Juz dgn aku dia berlembut..tp aku je yg takut dgn dia..sbb dia garang..
Tp ayah aku yg selalu memenuhi apa yg aku nak...
Tapi....
Kuasa Tuhan...takdir menentukan...
Ayahku pergi dulu..
Tinggal lah aku keseorangan tanpa kasih syg seorang ayah..
Aku hanya membesar dgn mak..
Aku terlalu menyayangi mereka berdua..
Tapi aku takkan cerita semua masalah aku kat mak..
Sbb aku tak nak membebankan dia..aku da besar..
Aku bukan budak kecik yg asyik menangis..merengek2..

Kadang2 aku rasa hidup aku ni ibarat aku hidup hanya sebatang kara..
Aku sendiri pun taktau tujuan apa utk aku teruskan hidup...
I'm lost...I have nothing...and I am all alone..
Tapi aku kuat utk teruskan hidup kerana Allah...
Kerana aku sebagai hambaNya di muka bumi ini utk menjalankan tanggujawab aku sebagai seorang manusia, anak, adik, pekerja dan rakyat..

Tapi sungguh..
Aku terlalu rindukan ayah...
Aku inginkan seorang yg mengesatkan airmata ku..
Memelukku dengan penuh kasih sayang..
Membelai rambut ku...membawaku jalan2 lepas kena marah..
Kerana dulu ayahku memujukku sebegitu..aku jadi rindu..
Ikah harap roh ayah tenang dan aman di sana..
Ampunkan ikah..sebab xpernah jadi anak yg sempurna...
Yg solehah...maafkan ikah.. ='(

When I am All Alone

there are times when i feel sad..
feel sad being ignored by someone who I wish I can hold on to..

there are times when I feel regret..
regret for knowing the truth about my life..

there are times when I feel lonely..
lonely when there's no one to wipe my tears or share the pain I felt inside..

there are times when I feel down..
down where i think there's nobody understand me

there are times when I feel happy..
happy when I think of the sweet memories in my life

there are times when I feel rejected..
rejected when I feel like I am just a bother to someone..

there are times when I feel cheated..
cheated when the truth is not like what I been facing off for all this time..

there are times when I feel like hoping..
hoping when someone I like treat me and care about me..

there are times when I feel like being hated..
being hated when the person whom I like doesn't even smile at me..

there are times when I feel like my heart is cracking..
cracking when the voice within me let me hate myself..

there are times when I feel bad..
bad when I can't even do anything good or better for someone I love..

there are times when I feel annoyed..
annoyed when someone doesn't even understand a single sentence that I'm saying..

there are times when I feel relieved..
relieved when there's someone is here to wipe my tears away..

there are times when I feel touched..
touched when the person I admired, said he love me like I do..

there's only sometimes..but most of the times I feel alone,lonely..
i keep on smiling like nothing happened even my heart is cracking..
i feel sad when i keep crying but there's no one's there to wipe my tears..
i feel like giving up..

coz i have given so many hints..but they didn't even understand that i love them much..!
i am so alone..

with the history of life being buried deep inside my heart..

leaving so much scars and pain to me..
i feel terrible..

coz the person whom I love is not able to share my pain coz they didn't even know..
how could I be strong..if there's no one to support me..
how could I go on when there's no reason for me to do so..

i keep falling down..
failed to heal the pain i feel inside..
i keep looking forward..if there's something i can do to avoid this pain..
but it is just a look..without a meaning..

i keep thinking that i have hurting others heart..
with the pain i feel inside..

i just cannot realize the loves and the cares that are waiting for me
i just don't know..
I'm just so scared to know..but then why i keep hoping?

i don't know..i just..just hoping that person will understand..
hoping that there's someone to take my feet back on ground..
wipe my tears and say to me..
"it's OK..I'm here now..whenever u need me, I'll be there for u"..
but still it seems impossible..

when the truth within me keep making me unconfidence..
even it hurts..still it is the truth..
to whom shall i share those tears..

that i cried alone in the dark regretting..

bout me....

Allahuakbar

Serdang --> Putrajaya

Assalamualaikum...

Wahhh...arini seawal jam 8.30 am pas Dhuha terus bersiap utk berjimba...
Hehe...arini guwa bersio-sio bersama Yanty, my besfren from UKM..
Da lama tak jumpa minah ni..
Plan dgn dia ajak gi Hot-air-balloon kat Putrajaya je..
Tapi sabtu smlmnya masa gi uma kak lang aku, dia bagi 4 tiket wayang free..
And kebetulan abg aku pun ada singgah umah akk aku gak..
So, dia rembat la 2 tiket tu gi tgk dgn wife tercintot dia..
Haha..untong laa ade wife..sib bek aku baik hati..
Sbb pikir dlm perot ada baby je..
Jadinya..dia bg aku 2 tiket je yg free...

Hmm..aku taktau nak ajak sape..sbb kwn2 aku ramai yg busy2 belako..
Gipon abg ipar aku bg syarat...dia bg tiket free tu dgn syarat pegi dgn yg muhrim aku je...
Err...sape je yg bukan muhrim aku nak ajak ??
Takde kot abg Lokman.. ;(
Maka, aku ajak la si Yantot ni haa..
Dia ni pon lebih krg kaki jalan gak dgn aku..
Tapi dia kena follow timing..
Kalau tak, mati aku nak jawab apa dgn bapak dia anto anak dia balik lambat2..
Gentle tak guwa ?? Haha! (angkat2 kening)

Tiket free tu kena kat TGV je..citer pape je..3D ke ape ke..pilih3..kowipileyy..ammakk!
so, aku ajak la gi The Mines.. Tgk citer Warm Bodies jam 1.30pm..
Cun !! Tak ramai org mcm Alapanda...
Kami sampai dlm kol 9am lbh camtu..breakfast kat chicken rice shop..
Jalan2 sampai abes RM100 dlm beberapa minit je..
Pastu cocok lg... (bankrap2..) ~__~"
Citer Warm Bodies ni best glerr wa ckp lu..sbb zombie laki tu ensem !! Gggeeeerrreemmm !
(teros kembali ke jantina asal aku ko tau..!!) ;p

Pas abes je movie, kami bergegas anak2 itik gembo2 ke ktm..
Minah ni kena balik before kol 7pm..
So, balik umah guwa dulu..solat sume...
Pastu teros gerak ke Presint 2, Putrajaya...
Batak rabek tgk belon panas oii !! -.-"
Langit berdentum2 pun guwa teroskan gak misi..
Hujan je rintik2..
Guwa teroskan jgk rempitan guwa..
And alhamdulillah...tak jadi hujan ponnnn...
Yeayyy!!!

Duit pon tak kua byk sebab sokmo pekena air tester from "Do the Dew"..
Jimattt !!! Ngiah3...
Pastu jln2 gi booth dulu sementara tggu brader2 kasi warm up kat belon tersebut..
Kol 6pm lebih da naik da belon nye....
Actually aku takde la berapa excited sgt..
Sebab da pernah pegi last year..
Aku excited kalau aku dpt rasa naik belon tu or merasa jd paragliding...
Huwarrgghhh !!!
I love adventure uoollllsss !!
Kecik bukan sebarang kecik...
Kecik di luar tapi keberanian guwa besorr tau.. Haha! (yoyo o je tewww.. ;p)